Choices

We make choices every minute of every day. Those choices affect our lives. It is our choices more than anything else, that are creating the experiences we are having. If we really know and understand our priorities in life, we can make the choices that align to our Truth, and then we will live in Integrity. And then we will be happy.

I was talking with a client once who had missed her daughter's dance rehearsal. She felt terrible. I know this client pretty well and we had been working on this pattern of behavior for a little while. It's very tough for her to break.

While she knows intellectually that her daughter is more important than work, she has been in the habit of making decisions that don't align to that. She's beginning to recognize this pattern and take ownership, which was the hardest step. She's noticing the direct link to her daughter's behavior, and other negative results - based on her decisions and actions.

She's realizing that in blaming her ex-husband, she was taking the responsibility off herself. Not to say that he didn't have a lot to improve himself - but she realized that it was distracting her from taking full responsibility for her own actions. She used to think "wow, how did I get here; why is this happening to me." Now she can trace what choices she has made and see the connections clearly.

It's evident in her language when she speaks about the situations now. She focuses on herself instead of making the situation all about him (in fact, I rarely hear about him anymore). She's starting to notice the emotional struggle in saying no to work, and why she needs that attention.

Awareness is key. Awareness without judgment is crucial. She is working constantly on not judging - just being aware. She knows now that she's really good at judging herself harshly, which puts her in victim mode, and the vicious cycle will continue. We can even laugh about it now - that's a huge step!

Later, she emailed me letting me know that she has said no to important business trips and things she never felt like she could. She still has her job. She's not being treated unfairly (in fact, she's noticed people are respecting her even more). Her daughter's behavior is improving dramatically. And she's been very happy.

What choices are you making that aren't aligning with your Truth (your priorities)? Can thinking about your priorities give you enough courage to say no, and feel good about it? It's empowering! Try it for a week, and very likely you'll see drastic differences in your life.