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How to Set Goals That Don't Compete!

Updated: Oct 4, 2019

Have you ever set a goal and never reached it, only to wonder why you even bothered setting goals to begin with?

While it’s true just by writing your goals down it really can boost the likelihood of the goal coming to fruition, it’s not a guarantee, and there are many things that can zap your goal.


The first thing we need to do when we set a goal is to make sure it’s not competing with other goals in our life. I remember when I was going to college part-time, raising my daughter, and working full time. My goal for college was to have a 4.0 average. But I also had a goal of spending quality time with my daughter. And another goal of advancing in the company I worked for so I could make more money. Needless to say I didn’t even have a goal for my health and wellness, my personal and social relationships, nor my spiritual aspirations.


Not realizing these goals were competing, I constantly depleted myself. I felt guilty for spending too much time on school work. Then I’d feel unsuccessful for not spending enough time. I’d beat myself up for not spending enough time with my daughter. Then I’d convince myself I had to work harder on my career and college to help her believe we didn’t have to stay stuck where we were. At the end of every semester, I’d be sick. And then I’d feel resentful that the little time I had off I couldn’t even enjoy. It was a vicious cycle - until I figured out I was competing and depleting myself.

By taking a few minutes to identify all the areas in your life that are important to you, you’ll begin to set goals that don’t compete.

In the GRITty Stuff Bonuses, there is a copy of the Goals Sheet (from the GRITty Stuff Get Your GRIT Together Planner). This is where you identify your goal areas and basic goals for each area.  

You’ll also identify High Value Activities for each Goal area. These are the 5 to 7 general activities you’ll do to stay aligned to your goal.

Once you’ve identified both of these, there’s a bonus spreadsheet “Goals and HVA Spreadsheet”. The instructions are included within the spreadsheet. Make sure you make your own copy of it, either in google spreadsheets by clicking “File” and “Make a Copy”; or download it to your hard drive as an Excel file.

This goal setting activity will help you crush your goals - without colliding with other goals in your life. You’ll clearly identify the HVA’s critical to your success and your activities will align around those.

This system has helped thousands of people over the past 20 years. I sincerely hope it helps you too.

Use the comments below to share your experience, inspire others, or ask questions.

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